Video Vault Friday: Holiday Edition
Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, with the usual amount of gnashing and wailing from both the single and those who want you to know that they’re not going to be suckered into some corporate nonsense to prove to their partners that they love them. I’m relatively indifferent to it myself, but I can understand why it’s a bit of a downer if you’re alone. However, take heart, my friends, because my gift to you for the holiday is this collection of snippets from 80s era video dating ads.
It’s really easy to see why most of these men had to turn to video dating services to find romance: it’s because they look like serial killers. Seriously, I think the one guy who talked about wanting to take a bath with someone showed up on an episode of Dateline NBC several years after he filmed his ad. It’s over four minutes of bad mustaches, acid wash clothing and profoundly awkward attempts at trying to make one’s self sound interesting. It rarely gets any deeper than “I like to have fun,” which is pretty much the most meaningless thing anyone could say about him or herself, right up there with “I enjoy breathing” and “A good bowel movement can make my whole day.” Fun is arbitrary, depending on what you like it could mean anything from playing skee-ball to kicking a puppy to death. Or, in the case of some of these poor unfortunate souls, killing hookers and burying them in landfills.
Still, the guy dressed like a Viking was pretty awesome. I’m sure he found his special someone eventually, most likely at a Star Trek convention. So a happy Valentine’s Day to him, and to you too, particularly if you’re interested in most phases of data processing.
